


Polaris

by mehmehmeh



Series: Follow You Home [1]
Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Batman Knows Everything, Character Study, M/M, Unrequited Love, it gets lonely in space, love letter, which isn't as unrequited as Hal thinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6269842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mehmehmeh/pseuds/mehmehmeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hal left the Justice League and is now operating solo. He still sees Barry when he's off duty but this particular mission is going longer than he likes and he breaks some gin to pass the night. This is that night's log entry on his ring.</p><p>In Chinese (!!!): http://rayliria.lofter.com/post/1d393ae3_a56f2a0</p>
            </blockquote>





	Polaris

**Author's Note:**

> The story rests somewhere in JL comicverse but I've pulled in bits from Flash the tvshow and it's generally chaotic. If there are any glaring errors please let me know.

Log 207: Earth Date 03/15/16 Time 01:57 AM

Hello, it's me. 

There is such a difference between us and a million miles. Well, technically, light years but "Hello from the other side" can't get any more literal than this. 

Hey, Barry. 

Thanks, by the way, for your shower room concerts. They keep me updated on the songs I miss. I haven't told you but I record your singing on my ring. It can get really silent up here in space. I also like having some background music when I kick alien ass. It feels great ramming a ten-ton truck while singing Let It Go. You should try it sometime. 

I bet you've moved on from Adele by now. What are you singing in the shower these days? Something happier I hope. 

I never really cared for music, aside from stuff on the midnight radio. They kept me awake while I drove my truck. It made me think of all the other truck drivers listening to the same 60s hits. It made me feel connected, like I wasn't just driving through void, and there were other people as lost and lonely as I was. 

Now they tie me to you. 

I like your voice. You used to be in glee club, right? It really shows. You have amazing pipes. Some day I'm going to convince you to try America's Got Talent. You'll dazzle their pants off. Imagine Superman's face when he finds out. I'm sure Batman will be like "I knew you had a singing voice, it's in file A-2b" or something equally creepy. 

Sometimes your singing is the only thing that keeps me going. 

But, man, I don't miss the League at all. It was so high school, if you get my drift. We were doing fine in our own clique and then you had to be all happy teaming up and getting new friends. How's that going by the way? If you've replaced me with someone else, I will have words with you. Words. 

You'll probably say "Just come back."

And I'll say "I can't." 

What's martyrdom if you pop back alive? That'll be Jesus but I'm not the guy who can walk on water. I do one better: I fly. 

Last time I talked to you, it was Christmas on Earth. I remember something about Patty Spivot. Are you guys still together? I didn't ask anything and I still don't know how. You shut me out. 

I know you're pissed about me flirting with your dates but it isn't what you think. All those times, that was me cleaning house. Besides, what kind of girl says yes to a guy who flirts with her in front of her boyfriend? Not someone suited for you, obviously. You deserve the best of the best, Barry Allen, and if it's not me, she better be as good as the Virgin Mary. 

Wait... that doesn't go well with the you-as-Jesus metaphor I used earlier...oh well. Technicalities. 

You know, Batman figured it out. That's why I hate that depressing mound of kevlar. He told me I should be more direct, as if he cares. As if. 

So the Bat knows while you remain obliviously heterosexual. I hate the universe. 

You know, he also said that you're not as straight as I think you are, which is downright rude. 

We know each other both on and off duty. We've fought together. We've had X-Files marathons together. We've got drunk at karaoke bars. Hell, there even was that time when we woke up in bed half naked. If you were in anyway bent, you would've told me by now. I mean... I haven't specifically said either but... Ah fuck. What does the Bat know anyway. Besides, you're with that Spivot girl now. Missed opportunities and all that crap. 

I'm not complaining. You're you and I'm me and I think that's answer enough. I'm selfish but I can be selfless for you. You mean more than I do to myself. 

It must be the gin that's making me sentimental. That and Adele. You sing it with so much feeling. It rips my heart out. 

I'm searching the stars and wondering where you are, what you're doing, if you're hurt, if you're happy... I wish I didn't have to be so me. The bravest man who's afraid of himself. What a joke. 

It's so easy to get lost up here, Barry. To get lost in your mind. There is an ever expanding sheet of emptiness that swallows you up. You're just another speck of dust, debris, star. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Because in space there is silence and silence has no definition. 

Maybe I'm turning into a poet. But you make me think, Barry Allen. You always make me think. It was annoying until it became standard procedure, sort of like wearing your left socks first or wetting your toothbrush before the toothpaste. You just get used to it. 

And I got used to you. Always late, always smiling, always that mid-western accent, and always hungry to the point of starving. I wondered about that. Does CCPD pay you enough to cover the food bills or is there another reason for dating Spivot? Haha, I know, I can imagine your face. I can see it in the glass.

It's funny how you, Barry Allen, is so predictable, boring, and, gods save me, responsible... But the Flash is anything but. 

Well okay Flash is responsible in that he saves people and the world from falling apart but you're too fast...you're too fast for reaction, for judgement, for pointing out because one second you're here and in another you're in Timbuktu. 

There is no reaction time for you, Barry. You just, sort of, happen. Like a lightning strike. Or a lottery ticket. Good luck for me, bad luck for Cold. 

Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe both Cold and I are in and out of luck with you. Being on nickname basis with your arch nemesis isn't normal. And yes, I'm bothered by it. 

Cold isn't stupid. I mean he dresses like a deranged winter fairy and calls himself Captain but that's beside the point. He is smart enough to play cat and mouse with you while staying topdogs of Central City. It takes a lot of balls to go head to head against the Flash. I would know. So why does Len keep doing it? Why ice the streets when he can slip away undetected? Why trip the alarms and wait around? Think about it. 

My advise is: leave him my phone number, say it's yours. I'll tell him what's what so he can move on. You do that to people sometimes. You're too kind and they read it the wrong way, think they have a shot and keep trying. 

I've learned, I think, and am past that. Shut up Batman, I didn't ask for your opinion. 

This recent mission has been so boring. I just stand around and watch while people talk and try to work things out. I know how it ends. Someone snaps, shots fired, and all is chaos. It's the waiting that gets to you. All that hoping. I hate it. 

That's one of the best things about you though. Hope. Hope that you will be there, that you're quick enough to circumvent catastrophe. Barry Allen, always there in the nick of time. You inspire hope in people. You make me hopeful.

Hope is as cruel as cigarettes. Killing me softly with your smiles. Damn you Barry. Being so hopelessly hopeful, letting people believe the same. 

I'm pragmatic and realistic. Call me jaded. I also don't like status quo. I revel in the noise. My job gives me all that I need. But sometimes I miss the soft bed and someone singing in the shower. Sometimes I wish I could have it all. 

You keep telling me to get a flat but it's stupid to pay rent when I won't be there most of the time. I also won't have breakfast waiting for me when I wake up, or free Netflix, or beer and pizza nights if I got my own place. I'm selfless for you but I'm not that selfless. Let a guy dream, give him hope, or at least some music for nights like this. 

I should hit up Cold the next time I go planet-side. He and I can drink to the oblivious flirt that is Barry Allen. 

It's nice talking to you this way. No interference. No judgement. Just me and my drunken voice. You're not here to point out the flaws in my logic and you'll never know I think of you more than a friend. 

I don't really know when that happened. I try not to think about it. I've always lived life without attachments. It's easy staying fearless that way, or so I told myself. Now I know what fear tastes like and I don't like it at all. 

It would be so much easier if I could hate you. It shouldn't be that hard. We're polar opposites, you with your shirt tucked in and me with my leather jacket. 

I hate your sweaters, I hate your alarm clock, I hate your alphabetical book shelf, I hate your jeans that fit just right. I hate how your eyes start sparkling when you get tipsy and I hate it when you sing drunk because your voice gets husky. I hate how you hold my hand and say "You're my best friend." I hate how it makes me want to kiss you. 

Man, I hate you so much. I fucking miss you. I really hope they start warring tomorrow so we can be done with this job and I'm free to go back. I could kill for some pizza right now. 

I get so lost here, Barry. There are missions and people and bad guys and good guys but they're all so relative. 

We're talking about microscopic quarrels happening in the scale of not only one but thousands of universes. Who cares if a planet or two gets bombed. Who cares if a kid loses a father. No one. Unless they make it their business to care. That would be me and you. But it's so easy, so easy to let go of the lifeline and just...drift away. 

I'll never do that, of course. I wear my ring with pride. But I need reasons. And you are one of them. 

Barry, you give me reason. And pizza. Damn, I wish this place had delivery. 

I should catch some sleep so I look halfway presentable. I'll leave you a message on your actual phone later today so you won't be surprised finding me in your house. You really are too trusting for your own good, giving me a spare key like that. It's almost like you...want me there...Huh.

I don't do hope. But maybe for you. 

Okay, Jordan out.


End file.
